estrella caught herself daydreaming.
she was finding it hard to focus. yet again, for what must be the millionth time by now, she wondered if she had fallen off the edge of the world. maybe the quaking she felt, which she knew in her heart to be chiron from across the void, maybe that was a neurological condition. maybe she needed to see a doctor. what if he wasn't where she thought he was. what if he was. were there going to be unexpected bumps ahead?
she sometimes wished she wasn't so smitten with him. but she was. the sound of his voice, hell, the things that he said. she didn't need small talk, but, really, he gave good banter, and that made her remember how much she loved him just a little more. he had this style. she wasn't sure if he had cultivated it or if he just sort of rolled out of bed that way, but when he seemed not quite himself it made her worry. once seeing him in khakis she thought he must have been an impostor. surely he never wore khakis. she didn't know why it would possibly matter to her, but she couldn't stand it. it was wrong, somehow.
and. the things he did that made no sense. she found she could not, no matter that she tried, she could not keep from imagining reasons why. estrella was pretty imaginative. she thought it was likely that her imagination extended to far more upsetting things than were actually true. but she could in no way be sure of that.
also, estrella was having mental intrusion. close her eyes and she'd see short clips, a swirl of movie-like images that seemed disjointed and out of context. what did any of that mean.
estrella didn't know.
